Greetings all! This month, my guest is Lil Crowe. She runs, or co- runs several groups and lists out there, most notably, Vampire Nations Unite, and Crimson Illuminations, which she runs with her partner. You may reach Lil Crowe via AIM on CrowSpiritWalker. You can also access Vampire Nations Unite here

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Silver: Greetings LilCrowe :o) Thankyou for taking time out to sit and have a chat with me this month :o)

CrowSpiritWalker: A pleasure of course Silver, thank you for having me.

Silver: It's also my pleasure :o) Ok, would you indulge us with a little background information on yourself?

CrowSpiritWalker: Sure, I'm 26 year old vamp. I prefer to call myself a bit of everything vamp since I can feed in various ways. I have been aware of being different at a young age, say around 12 or13. It wasn't until I found the VC, that I understood what I was. After reading articles, it all clicked. I have practiced magick, though I don't consider myself Wiccan. I tend to just 'know' what to do. Now here I am, trying to help others understand themselves, while learning about myself at the same time.

Silver: That's a great thing, being able to finally have some kind of an understanding of how you fit into the scheme of things..Have you personally told anyone in your family about your vampirism? And if so, how did they react?

CrowSpiritWalker: Oh no. My mom jokes about me being a vampire, and has since I was younger, but that's because I'd flinch everytime she yanked the curtains open. From being in a totally dark room, then making it bright as the sun, in one second flat, who can blame me? No, they don't know. If I did tell them, they would probably have me locked up. Though, I wish I could be open with them about it.

Silver: Wow, that must be difficult to have to keep it on the hush hush..

CrowSpiritWalker: It can be.

Silver: Upon awakening, did you find others of like mind that were able to help you through some of the more difficult times?

CrowSpiritWalker: Yes actually I did. There were some that were going through the awakening almost at the same time I was. They were very helpful, and even those that had gone through it were helpful as well. It was a relief you can say.

Silver: I bet it was.. You say you also have an alternative belief system, as a magick practitioner, do you think there is any part of that which helped you better able to relate, and even to deal with some aspects of your vampirism? And if so, how?

CrowSpiritWalker: I believe, it is my natural ability to 'feel' energies, and manipulate them to my benefit. After understanding why I was feeling the way I was feeling from a lack of balance of energies. I was able to take in energies easily, from already using energy in magick. That was a great help to me, but it's still a learning process. =-)

Silver: We have said enough times that the two issues are separate, but I have seen alot of people trying to combine vampirism with their beliefs..Should the two be combined?

CrowSpiritWalker: No, they are both separate issues. Vampirism is a condition, not a practice. While practicing magick, is just that. It's a practice. One can benefit the other, but should be kept as two separate issues. I will agree with that.

Silver: Good answer :o)

CrowSpiritWalker: Thank you.

Silver: Ok, let's discuss the houses you are involved with..

CrowSpiritWalker: Alrighty, what would you like to know?

Silver: You are currently involved in the VC, Crimson Illuminations, and Vampire Nations..Can you share a bit about what can be found or offered in the latter 2?

CrowSpiritWalker: Sure. Crimson Illuminations is a site I co-own with Crow. We offer various articles on awakening, magick, the major Sabbats, myths on vampirm along with the reality of it. Including an article on Blood Fetishm vs. being Sanguine. There are also links to other sites as well, in case we don't have what they are looking for. The Vampiric Nations Council consists of various Elders/Leaders of other Houses/Org/etc, that want to create an actual vampiric community. We gather together to discuss what issues need to be addressed and as a group, try to come up with a way to overcome that obstacle. There is also an alternate list for those that want to be a part of the Council that aren't Elders or Leaders, they (the alternate group) are the eyes for us. They voice their opinions and help us see what we might be missing.

Silver: Once you create this community, where will it go from there? That is, what sorts of goals do you all have, or hope to reach?

CrowSpiritWalker: I'm hoping it will spread, and many will realize there is an actual group of people, that want to make a 'friendly' environment for all vampires, donors, blackswans, etc., I would like to see more become interested in the project and want to be a part of it. Instead of various Houses/Org coming at each other, they would come together and unite.

Silver: Ok, here's another issue that has been brought up to me..It seems there are some who are concerned about the lack of actual involvement on the part of black swans and significant others who are not vampires, within our community here.. Is there some way in which we might be able to open up and draw these others more into our circles?

CrowSpiritWalker: Yes, that is why we have an alternate list. It's called VampireNationsUnite, it's also found on Yahoo groups. Zaar and GrayAngel are in charge of that one. Donors, blackswans, mundanes and vampires alike are welcome to join there and voice their opinions on what they like or don't. As long as there is no flaming or bashing of course. The groups shouldn't be there just for the Vampires, without donors, and the rest where would we be? They are also part of the community. I believe they are afraid to speak up because of they don't feel important or perhaps of how they have been treated by others. They shouldn't have to feel this way. A way to bring the blackswans and donors in, is to treat them with more respect then they have been given in the past.

Silver: I agree, and I also think this is why a good many stay away from us too, is because we inadvertently exclude them, due to how most of us have been treated by mundanes..What is your take on houses which promote vampirism as a belief or fetish?

CrowSpiritWalker: Well, though I don't agree with them at all. It is their choice on how they run their own Houses. This sadly, misleads others into believing vampirism is a cult, and they can be turned into one. It isn't like religion, nor is it a fetish. This makes those that want people to understand the real vampirism for what it is, have to try and work harder to undo what was done by these houses that promote vampirism as such.

Silver: That's very true and I agree with you..How would you advise other people who seek help, but are too firmly rooted within the vampire myth or lifestyle?

CrowSpiritWalker: Talk to as many people as you can. Listen and watch with open eyes and ears what is being said. Then I tend to point out Hollywood and many novels out there are very appealing, and sexy. This is what many want to be. Sexy. Don't get me wrong, I love vampire movies and books. But that's all they are. Stories. If they listen and understand what is being said, then great. At least one person has been reached. All we can do is try. =-)

Silver: It's true..I think quite a few see it as being a romantic thing to have a vampire seek them out, and bite their neck, though this isn't exactly how we go about it, but nevertheless, I can understand the fantasy aspect, and see why some would be drawn to that..Some people come to the VC in doubt as to whether they have the vampiric condition..Is there a way they can know for certain they are a vampire?

CrowSpiritWalker: Hmm. With those that aren't sure, I ask them open end questions. Such as how they feel around a group of people, when do they notice IF they feel different such as tired, energized and when, and what occured if they noticed. It's all trying to get them to understand themselves and to separate their experiences. It can be random, with some they will know for certain because they are willing to accept that part of their lives, while others are more closed off to it. It really does vary by individual and their acceptance to themselves. Certainty, can be an uncertain thing at times. Of course, if I can't help them. I point them into a direction of someone that might.

Silver: I agree.. Earlier, you stated that you tend to get your energies via various means, would you be able to go into that a bit more, and sort of explain how you tend to go about it, and what sources tend to be best suited to your needs?

CrowSpiritWalker: Of course. Many feed in one way, be it sang, elemental, psi, pranic, etc. I can feed in all of those ways. The elements and nature itself is the best way for me of course. Being in California, I'll be lucky to see a good storm. So, I've adapted. Learning to feel the Earth and the energies from it, taking it in helps lots. Wind is great too!

Silver: Are there any activities that help you become more at ease within yourself, when your chosen methods of gaining energy are not available to you?

CrowSpiritWalker: Meditation. 100% of the time, it helps. I'm more open and can channel energies better that way. If ever I feel off kilter, I go hide and meditate.

Silver: How has it helped your vampirism, by being involved in the VC, Crimson Illuminations, and Vampire Nations?

CrowSpiritWalker: Good question Silver. By involving myself within these various groups/org/lists. I have been able to share my experiences with others, and have been able to connect with their shared experiences as well. Some are afraid to share what they have gone through, and by opening up, this helps us realize we are not alone. It's like a support group. =-D I know it's helped me lots.

Silver: Well I know it can be difficult to just come on out and say what all one has gone through and experienced on this path, especially where awakenings are concerned, as they tend to be quite traumatic sometimes..But it is good to know that there are support groups out there, willing to help..And I think that those who are just learning of this life, NOW, are far luckier than some of us were, because there is alot more for them to be able to have access to..Ok, I just have a final question for you :o) What do you hope to see in the future of the vampire community?

CrowSpiritWalker: This may sound like a longshot. I do hope to see most if not all vamipiric communities, open their doors and minds to everyone, meaning donors, blackswans, etc. A community isn't a community without everyone being involved, and shutting others out isn't going to help. I'd like to see more places such as the VC, Crimson Illuminations, VampireNationsUnite, Vampiric Nations Council, come out of the woodworks. Then to have those groups merge and connect would be great.

Silver: If that were to happen, would the separate houses not lose some aspects of their uniqueness?

CrowSpiritWalker: Not at all, we would come together as a group to discuss what would benefit most if not all. And each will still run their own House their own way. This is the difference. We come together as a whole to address issues, while being able to maintain our individuality. It's a huge panel. We won't oversee who does what with their House.

Silver: Ahh, I see what you mean.. Well, perhaps it is something in the cards, then :o)

CrowSpiritWalker: I certainly hope it is. =-)

Silver: Well LilCrowe, I thankyou again for taking the time to sit here with me and impart your wisdom to all who come here seeking it :o) Very good luck with all your ventures in the community :o)

CrowSpiritWalker: Thank you very much Silver. I appreciate this experience, and hope it helps others as well.

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Silver's Final Thoughts -

Perhaps it is correct to say we don't fully embrace having black swans and others who are not vampires, within our groups, here. And perhaps we would benefit from having these others around us, and as a part of our groups/organisations/houses/circles, whatever, as much as they would benefit from being around us..I believe the part of the black swan as the donor, is never a one sided venture.. I have believed long that there is an even exchange between the vampire and the donor. There is obviously something that the donor gains from being close by the vampire, and in their altruistic gestures towards assisting with energy absorption..

Too long have we remained in the shadows, sitting at the quiet, darkened table in the background, where we are sure no one will take notice of us for one reason or another, but what about the ones who DO take notice, and have a real desire to help us, and learn from us? Perhaps they are drawn to some particular aspect of us..Maybe they see the true beauty within us, and our great love of life, and the joy we have in it..Let us therefore, embrace the swans and significant others who wish to draw nearer to us..Let us bring them within our circles, and enjoy their gifts to us, and ours to them..Before I go, I would like to share this very appropriate quote with you, and hope you get the benefit of it, for it is truly profound..

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it"..

- Confucius

That's it for this month, ladies and gents..Try not to wither away and melt in the heat :o) Until next time..

Dark Blessings..
Silver

Edited by Silver

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